You And What Army?
by Right What Is Wrong
Summary: Naruto has some practical questions about Sasuke's hopes of killing Itachi. Set during the Valley of the End fight.


"Sasuke, wait a minute!"

The other ninja only grunted as he bounced off the rock wall and propelled himself at Naruto. It was all he could do to dodge. "Aren't you forgetting something?" Naruto shouted, bringing his arms up to block as Sashke began a barrage.

"Like - what - you - imbecile?" Sasuke snarled, each word following a blow.

"You want to kill me to get this thing Itachi's got, right?"

Sasuke retreated and regarded Naruto at a distance, still maintaining a fighting stance. "The Mangekyo, yes. That is why you must die." He readied himself for a charge, but Naruto was speaking again.

"Why do you think that will do anything to close the gap?"

Bewilderment flashed across Sasuke's face. "Because... that's how he got the power to massacre my entire clan." His eyes narrowed. "It's the secret to his power-"

"But he only got it at twelve, right?"

"Well, yes-"

"Wasn't he already ANBU by then?"

There was a pause. "What's your point?"

"ANBU! The jonin of the jonin!" Naruto scowled at Sasuke. "And we were fighting our guts out just to make chuunin!"

Sasuke suddenly looked ill. He covered it a moment later. "Maybe you were, but I wasn't. If not for Gaara, who shouldn't have been ranked with normal genin at all, I wouldn't have even broken a sweat-"

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto said in a deliberately bored voice, waving his hand. "And Itachi made chunnin at _ten_." He raised an eyebrow. "And since he made ANBU a year later, I'd think the only thing that took him that long was paperwork, wouldn't you? I mean, since he graduated the academy at seven."

"How did you know about that?!" Sasuke demanded, eyes crazed.

Naruto shrugged. "Seriously? You're asking why I'd want to follow the exploits of the strongest kid in the village?" He grinned, despite himself. "At the rate he was going, Itachi might have made Hokage before I got there! And that meant I'd have to study up on him and know all his weaknesses, 'cause I'd have to beat him to become Hokage!"

Sasuke stared at him for almost a minute. "You," he said at last, "are _absolutely and utterly retarded_."

"Oi, I'd say it takes one to know one," Naruto snapped, growing serious again, "since you're on my level, and you have the same ambition."

Sasuke jerked back, then rallied. " _My reason is a hell of a lot more serious than yours_ -"

"We're not talking about reasons, we're talking about power!" Naruto shouted. "And you've had that reason for years, and you _still_ graduated the academy in the same year as me! The dead-last!"

"Don't you dare compare yourself to me!" Sasuke shouted back. "I graduated at the _top_ of the class-"

"And Itachi pulled the same feat off at _seven_!"

Sasuke glared at him, briefly speechless with rage. Naruto took the opportunity to continue. "So you take you with the Mangekyo, and Itachi with the Mangekyo - and you've just covered _that_ gap! Are you honestly telling me, before he got the Mangekyo, that you could have taken him on?"

Sasuke flushed. "I was a damn seven-year-old! Hell was I supposed to do?"

"But it sounds like, if your ages were reversed, he could have taken _you._ "

It was impossible to tell if the redness, which now reached back to Sasuke's ears, was more from rage or embarrassment. "What's your damned _point,_ Naruto?" he spat, little flecks of lightning sputtering around his hand, as though he were considering whether or not to use Chidori.

"That there's no point killing me, joining Orochimaru, or anything if _you can't beat him!"_

The color started to drain from Sasuke's face, only to come rushing back in. " _I can beat him!_ "

" _Says who?_ "

" _Itachi himself!_ Is _that - goddamn - good enough - for you?!_ "

"Oh yeah? _When?_ "

"When he killed my _clan!_ He told me that, if I wanted to kill him, I should hate him and get the Mangekyo, so that one day I could come before him and -"

" _And?_ So what? When I took my exams early and failed them, the teachers told me that, if I _wanted_ to pass, I should study hard and come back next year! It never meant they thought I had a chance in Hell of passing!"

" _You_ -" Sasuke could only sputter wordlessly, eyes filled with blind fury. Naruto wondered if he could turn and run all the way back to the village without Sasuke catching up - not to save his own skin, but to trick the berserk boy into coming roaring through the gates of Konohakagure without realizing it...

"I'm saying - who knows? You said he killed everyone for kicks! He might have just told you that so that, when you showed up again, you'd be worth a bit of entertainment before he killed you! Guy sounds like he turned out to be more of a psycho than Zabuza!"

Sasuke looked as though he were about to vehemently deny it, but, as the seconds ticked by, the rage began to be replaced by dawning horror. "Heh heh..." he said, one eye twitching as his mouth spread in an obviously-forced smile, "that's just... that's just bullshit." Silence filled the space between them as Sasuke fidgeted, his face apparently stuck in that fake grin, and Naruto considered offering him a hand-

"And besides, who gives a _crap_ what my brother thinks?!" Sasuke let out a psychotic laugh, and pointed a thumb towards where Orochimaru had bitten him. Naruto tensed in case he went back on the attack. "So _what_ if he only meant to slaughter me all along?! I have something he doesn't, and I'll play along until he thinks I'm done for, and then whip it out and slaughter _him-"_

 _"_ Uh. Yeah. About that snake-faced creep..."

" _What_?" Sasuke screamed, looking as though he was about to go full psycho himself. Well, knocking his apparent lifelong dream out from under him _was_ the closest thing to an unforgivable act Naruto had ever committed... but maybe a dream that could drive him to breaking Sakura's heart, betraying Konoha, and trying to butcher his best friend _deserved_ to die. " _What do you goddamn have to say now, Naruto?_ "

"Isn't it enough of a giveaway that he marked you in the first place?!" Naruto shouted back. "Come on! Think! Why does he want you?"

Sasuke gritted his teeth and rolled his eyes. "Are you _actually_ retarded?"

"I'm trying to save you, aren't I?"

Sasuke looked unamused. "He wants me, dumbass, because I have the Sharingan. I happen to be one of the two people who natively carry it, you know." He sneered. "And if you start crying about how he'll _use_ me or _only wants me for my body parts_ \- yes, I'm _very well aware of that._ But if it's the only way to get the power to beat Itachi - and, as _you_ just pointed out, I'll never get it on my own - then-"

"Yeah, that's the thing," Naruto said flatly. "You're one of two. Why does he want you?"

"Because he can't beat-" Sasuke's mouth snapped shut, and Naruto cocked his head.

"Yeah," he said to the dawning realization on Sasuke's face. " _He can't beat Itachi, either_. Otherwise he'd have chopped him up for parts years ago. Probably as soon as Itachi left Konoha.

"Think about it. Orochimaru's the guy who _invented_ the Cursed Seal. He's a crazy bastard who raises other people for their bloodlines, too - I fought this guy named Kimimaro who - never mind - Anyway, I'm sure he's got tons of stuff neither of us can imagine, and you want to join him to get your hands on them. I _get_ that, even if I think you're being a stupid asshole that turned your back on everyone and broke Sakura's heart."

Sasuke's _tch_ briefly sent blind rage surging through _Naruto's_ veins. He forced himself to remember that he couldn't bring Sasuke back if he beat him to death with his own shoes, got himself under control, and continued. "But so what? He's got all that stuff - he _invented_ some of it, so I bet he'll understand how to use it better than he'll ever teach you, even pretending he's not just going to feed you bits and pieces and hoard all the best stuff for himself - and, _even with all the stuff he's got_ , he _still_ can't beat Itachi. So what makes you think you can?"

There was a long silence.

It was broken by the sound of a sob.

Naruto watched soberly as Sasuke's will to resist broke, and the tears rolled down his face freely. At first he only hunched his shoulders, fists clenched, but then his knees buckled, and he collapsed to the ground, water splashing his shorts as only his hands broke his fall.

"Come on, Sasuke," Naruto said quietly, approaching the weeping boy and extending a hand. "Let's go home."


End file.
